This Coronavirus hysteria is something else. I have never seen something like this slow down society so drastically. Nor have I ever seen how easily humanity breaks down under pressure. Wow…
While the disease deserves to be taken seriously, it has shown me how fragile humanity is. Both mentally and physically. A few seemingly healthy people around the world have succumbed to the disease. And social order has broken down in some places. I still do not understand what hoarding all that toilet paper was about.
But surprisingly, I am not freaked out. I am with my best friend Tony right now. I guess we’re in the proverbial eye of the hurricane. We’re calm while so many around us lose their minds. And this calmness and isolation has given me time to think. A lot. About how to be safe, how short and fleeting life is, my own mortality, and whether or not I am okay with my life as I move closer to 30.
I have not talked to God as much lately as I should. But I realize that He is in control. Both in going to Him for my sins, and that He can take my life from me at any time. I am dust, and to dust I shall one day return. Death does not discriminate against anyone. Rich. Poor. Old. Young. It’s the bloodhound that one day tracks down all of us.
But until it finds us, we should focus on two things: Are we right with God? And are we happy with what we are currently doing? While I always worry about my faith and standing with God, I realize something: I AM happy with my life. Sure, I want to get to other places in my life, and I hope I get the chance to experience new and future chapters. But that is not completely under my control.
But I often wonder if I have done enough at almost 30. But here’s the thing: How much would be “enough” in my eyes? If I keep thinking I haven’t done enough, it never will be enough. Even if I’m one day 88 instead of 28. I will die without having ever really slowed down to live life. But if I realize that I am still alive, and there’s more to do, it makes me feel less anxious and rushed, and that life can be an adventure instead of a struggle. I have a great family, a wonderful close circle of friends, I try to be decent to other people and a good man, and I’ve busted my butt earning two degrees and become a more critical thinker. And I do not care that I am not where society thinks I should be. I am right where I should be right now. And that’s all that matters. Things could always be SO much worse.
Getting right with God is a daily struggle for all of us, too. I often feel condemned under the weight of my sins and unable to stop a lot of my bad habits. And there are days when it breaks me. I’m like, “How could Jesus ever love someone like me? I swear like a trucker. I am nowhere near a man of God.” I am often genuinely scared and ashamed of one day dying and going to Hell for my sins. I often feel like Peter. Completely and utterly unworthy of Jesus’ love. And I get emotional when Peter says to Jesus, “Depart from me, Lord. For I am a sinful man.” I feel like that’s me.
But a talk with Tony last night put my heart and soul at ease a little bit. I have to often be reminded of something: Even if I were free of my bad habits and demons, I am still hopelessly short of where I’m required to be in order to spend eternity with God. That’s where Jesus comes in. For me and for everyone. When He died, He died for me and you. He died for those in His day, our day, and those in the distant future of humanity. He is sinless, and came down to save us. All of us. Filthy, hopeless sinners. Out of His immeasurable love and desire to be with all of us, His greatest creation.
As I began writing this, I asked Jesus to be with me and just to be near me. I don’t know why I feel like I have to really focus and pray hard or that it’ll be insincere. Simple prayers are enough. If we say thank you, as well as ask the Lord to be with us, that is enough. As soon as I asked Him though, it felt like He was sitting down next to me. I haven’t known that kind of peace in quite a long while. It felt like everything was going to be okay.
I have seen many religious and faith-based things on Facebook lately talking about God using the Coronavirus to turn people back to Him. There may be something to that. While I do not think that God is deliberately torturing or punishing us, and I do not know how other people are handling it. I know today has really made me look long and hard at my life. While I do not think it will happen to me anytime soon, I could die at any time. And I’d rather talk to God, ask for forgiveness, and make peace with my life if anything does happen to me.
I hope you’re using this time to do some thinking yourself, or at least keeping yourselves safe and helping others do the same. This will pass, folks. I hope it’s sooner rather than later. But in the meantime, be smart, safe, strong, and have faith. God bless you all.