I am often restless. Often never fully happy with where I currently am in my life. I have plenty more happy, and good days than bad ones, but it often feels like a little something is missing.
I think this is because I often feel pressure by society to be at a certain place at a certain time. Since I am a man in his late 20’s, society tells me I should be married with children, steady job to support a family, everything. But I have none of those things right now. And it’s often a source of deep angst and anxiety. I often fear being a lonely, old man because these things are happening for me later than most of my peers.
But I’m trying to realize something: If I am always focused on where society tells me I should be, I will absolutely NEVER be happy with where I currently am. Even when I do land a great job, find a wonderful woman or have beautiful babies, I will never be happy if I keep my old mindset. There is nothing good with constantly wanting more and being unhappy when you don’t have it. The only way to win this game? To not play.
God gave me a new mindset yesterday and today. He helped me recognize my blessings. I am alive and healthy. I have a loving family. My own place to live. A continuously growing social circle. A growing faith in God that is more noticeable because I am living alone and have to be more focused on seeking Him in different ways. I’m adjusting to living by myself and am learning to enjoy my own company. I am slowly becoming happy with where my life is at.
I know what you’re thinking. What’s so hard about recognizing the good things in life? Shouldn’t you do that every day? Yes, I should. But it’s not always as easy as it sounds. Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me, the negative self-talk gets to me, and I feel bad for seemingly being behind everyone else.
But I had a peaceful sleep last night. I woke up, thanked God, asked Him to forgive me of my sins, and prayed that He would forgive others who hurt me and bless them. I actively wished for their happiness instead of hoping they would “get theirs.” That last part isn’t always easy to do. But when I did, it took a burden off my shoulders. That’s what Jesus means in the Lord’s Prayer when He says the line “And forgive us our trespasses. As we forgive those who trespass against us.” God forgives us of our sins against Him if we sincerely forgive other people who have harmed us.
After that, it was like I felt a great sense of peace wash over me, and remain with me today. And I realized what a gift it is to be able to visit my parents and spend time with them. Or what a good gift it was to spend time with my sister, Christy yesterday. She picked me up from my apartment and took me out to eat at Olive Garden before we went home to see our parents. That was really cool!
With a grateful heart, and faith in God, we can recognize the simple things like spending time with one’s sibling or parents as gifts. And the worries of daily life melt away. I don’t worry about where I should be, and instead I focus on where I am. Today, I am spending time with my family 🙂
And I also recognize that I am forgiven of my sins, and loved by Jesus more than I can possibly imagine. I feel Him close by. He loves me, and I am washed clean by His sacrifice on the Cross. God loves us more than we could ever know. And He is always willing to show us our blessings, relieve us of our burdens, and wipe every tear from our eyes. All we need to do is let Him 🙂